Pick and Save me from this hell

My favorite part of going to the supermarket is that wait at the check out counter. But before that happens you have to pick a lane. It really doesn’t matter which lane you pick, you know it’s going to be the slow one either way. Most likely there is at least one extremely old person in line or someone who does all of their grocery shopping once a month (think weird hillbilly folk from Deliverance). If you find a lane that does not have either of these types of people, chances are the ATM machine will be locked up, the receipt dispenser will be jammed or the check-out person will be talking on a cell phone, completely ignoring your presence. I think grocery stores need to change a few things.

First of all, their layouts leave something to be desired. If there are two doors, they should both lead into the store. However (and I think they do this because of the five-finger discount), I in veritably always come in the side closest to the check out counters so I either have to walk all the way back across the store, or scoot through one of the check out openings. I always feel like such a tard when I do that.

Why can’t the milk and eggs section be closest to the registers? Yeah I know, they figure if it’s at the opposite end of the store I will probably see something I like (spaghetti O’s, Cinnamon toast crunch, etc) and will buy it. I, for one, am not 5. I possess the will power to say “no” to beef jerky and donut holes so please just move the eggs and milk closer to the register.

While they’re at it, it would be nice if at least one store would think about how their parking is lined up. The stores I go to have those annoying one-way roads that everyone ignores anyway. All the spaces are lined up at an angle. I understand that it’s easy for most people to simply pull into and out of a spot like that easier than one that is perpendicular to the store. Unfortunately too many ass clowns go down the wrong way and end up taking three parking places when they try to park. Also, it would be nice if they put a few more of those cart oasis things out there. It feels like I have to push that M-F cart three blocks before I can find a place to dump it. By that time I might as well have just pushed the damn thing home and walked back for my car.

However, no matter how annoying the trip to the grocery store is, I will keep going to super markets as much as I can to avoid the trip to the imperialistic Walmart, or as I like to call it: Hell’s bathroom. So Food Lion, I guess you’ve got me by the short hairs on that one. Maybe I could grow my own food…

*D.S. Trosdahl~~