The uselessness of Clint Howard

No name embodies pure, enriched apathy, quite like Clint Howard. The problem, besides his poor acting chops and a face that only Abe Vigoda could love, is that he pops up in movies you least expect. There he is, a sleezy imbecile in the Waterboy. Suddenly your watching Ice Cream Man, and there he is again, a sleezy imbecile killer. And again, during the Grinch. A sleezy, boot-licking, imbecile. The list is mind-numblingly long. Did you know he is the voice of Roo in Winnie the Pooh? God, another useless fact that you really didn't want to know about the most worthless actor in Hollywood.

Clint is the substance you find in the lint trap of your dryer. It's there, everyday, completely pointless, making you angry for no real reason.

So there's Ron, the better-looking (although that's like saying the Phantom of the Opera is better looking than Quazimoto), better actor (ditto), and the more talented brother. Ron made Clint. If not for Ron, Clint would be the creepy janitor in a Junior Highschool in Virginia somewhere. My brother-in-law is an actor, and a damn good one. My only hope is that one day, I can be the Clint to his Ron Howard. I'll have to work on some thinning hair, growing out my forehead, and developing the voice of an eel.

What did writing this blog teach me? Don't, whatever you do, watch The Dentist 2. *Full Body Shudder*

*D.S.Trosdahl~~

God is too tired to smite.

So this Easter I started reflecting on a few things from the bible. One of the things I noticed is that God hasn't done any major smiting since the days of Moses. What happened? There are lots of good canidates out there, if one puts ones mind to it.

Al Qaida: I can see how this is a difficult one. Even God has trouble finding Osama bin Ladin. Perhaps a plague outbreak in the boondock areas of Aghanistan and Pakistan, if I may suggest?

My mailman: When you are a mailman, but you are too fat to get your ass out of the car to put a package on my front porch, you deserve to be smited.

Debt collecting companies: If there is a more sleazy, less rewarding occupation for all of mankind they both need to smiting.

That guy with the horrible Australian accent on the Outback Steakhouse Commercials: I feel bile enter my mouth now anytime someone mentions the word "steakhouse".

Greensboro, NC and surrounding area: Someone needs to drop some fire and brimstone on that place. Especially Kernersville. The place resembles my dog's anal cavity for some reason.

Whoever created clingwrap: God, that stuff pisses me off. "Let's create some plastic to keep food fresh. However, the dispenser will be a big, jagged blade that only cuts hands, not plastic. And so when the user tries to dispense a piece it will cling upon itself, creating a ball of plastic that will only partly cover the food." That person is godless.

My co-worker, Todd: He thinkes he's the smiter, but he shall be the one to be smotted, er smitten.

Maybe it's a good idea I don't have the power to smite. Wait a second. George W. has the football not too far from him...

*D.S. Trosdahl~~