Tiny tini's aren't tiny
Holy shit. My wife just made me a dirty martini. What a dirty martini is, for those of you that don't know, is taking a fifth of vodka, sprinkling a little olive juice in it, garnishing with a pair of olives and serving. I think my car can run a hundred miles on two of them. I swear my chest hair grew a couple of inches. Thank you Mrs. Trosdahl. You are the olive... I mean apple of my eye!
*D.S. Trosdahl~~
Saturday, January 28, 2006
Thursday, January 26, 2006
King Kloooooooong
I can’t believe this is my first post of 2006. I’m neglectful and it’s just not right. Anyhow, over the break I got a chance to see the much hyped, hugely anticipated King Kong. Whilst the special effects were good, and the action scenes were suspenseful, Peter Jackson needs to shut the f*ck up. Good God almighty! The thing stretched out like laffy taffy. I swear I needed ass replacement surgery by the end of it.
Now some movies can last a day and a half and you don’t even realize/care... King Kong was not one of these. It reminded me a lot of Lord of the Rings Return of the King. Pete had to have dozens of those, slow motion, close up, reaction shots. You know the ones I’m talking about. They happen every time Naomi Watts’s character so much as sneezes, we have to have a close up look at the monkey’s face. He holds the shots for way to f*cking long, making you and everyone else in the theatre uncomfortable to the point of squirming.
Peter Jackson did us no favors during the course of this movie, seeming to not cut anything… Except for one of the most important parts. How in the living hell did a rickety ass freighter carry a several ton monkey across the Indian and Atlantic oceans to New York City? After we see Kong hit with two big assed bottles of chloroform and not even slow down, Jack Black’s character hits him with one bottle that magically knocks him out almost instantaneously. The scene then shifts to New York. What the hell happened? I want to know how they transported this guy to the other side of the world on a ship that had been hit with rocks and the crew was dumping anything that wasn’t bolted down into the ocean to conserve weight.
Other Points of interest:
*Jack Black needs to stick with comedy. He has the dramatic acting chops of Bozo the Clown. “It was beauty that killed the beast.” What better way to end a three hour, tortuous movie then with the cheesiest line I have ever heard uttered on film.
*At the end of the movie, we’re gearing up for the big battle between Kong and the airplanes. Suddenly Kong is ice-skating? Jesus. Can’t we just end the movie already? By this time I want the army to kill Kong, to put me out of my misery.
*Colin Hanks sighting. Not just anyone can make it in the movie industry… Unless your dad’s name is Tom Hanks.
*So dinosaurs huh? Looks like they stole one of Lost’s plotlines for this season (Scratch off Matthew Fox fighting raptors).
I'm going to take a bottle of sleeping pills and lay down for a while.
*D.S. Trosdahl~~
I can’t believe this is my first post of 2006. I’m neglectful and it’s just not right. Anyhow, over the break I got a chance to see the much hyped, hugely anticipated King Kong. Whilst the special effects were good, and the action scenes were suspenseful, Peter Jackson needs to shut the f*ck up. Good God almighty! The thing stretched out like laffy taffy. I swear I needed ass replacement surgery by the end of it.
Now some movies can last a day and a half and you don’t even realize/care... King Kong was not one of these. It reminded me a lot of Lord of the Rings Return of the King. Pete had to have dozens of those, slow motion, close up, reaction shots. You know the ones I’m talking about. They happen every time Naomi Watts’s character so much as sneezes, we have to have a close up look at the monkey’s face. He holds the shots for way to f*cking long, making you and everyone else in the theatre uncomfortable to the point of squirming.
Peter Jackson did us no favors during the course of this movie, seeming to not cut anything… Except for one of the most important parts. How in the living hell did a rickety ass freighter carry a several ton monkey across the Indian and Atlantic oceans to New York City? After we see Kong hit with two big assed bottles of chloroform and not even slow down, Jack Black’s character hits him with one bottle that magically knocks him out almost instantaneously. The scene then shifts to New York. What the hell happened? I want to know how they transported this guy to the other side of the world on a ship that had been hit with rocks and the crew was dumping anything that wasn’t bolted down into the ocean to conserve weight.
Other Points of interest:
*Jack Black needs to stick with comedy. He has the dramatic acting chops of Bozo the Clown. “It was beauty that killed the beast.” What better way to end a three hour, tortuous movie then with the cheesiest line I have ever heard uttered on film.
*At the end of the movie, we’re gearing up for the big battle between Kong and the airplanes. Suddenly Kong is ice-skating? Jesus. Can’t we just end the movie already? By this time I want the army to kill Kong, to put me out of my misery.
*Colin Hanks sighting. Not just anyone can make it in the movie industry… Unless your dad’s name is Tom Hanks.
*So dinosaurs huh? Looks like they stole one of Lost’s plotlines for this season (Scratch off Matthew Fox fighting raptors).
I'm going to take a bottle of sleeping pills and lay down for a while.
*D.S. Trosdahl~~
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