The ABC's of 'X'

I set up this blog to discuss the really important issues of our time. Such as articles that slip through the cracks, hard-hitting human interest stories that don't make prime time, tid-bits that just haven't been discussed enough. I shall start with the letter 'X'.

What is the point of 'X'? Of all of the letters in the alphabet, it has got to be the most useless of them all. Sort of like a mascot at a baseball game or the nipples on a man. Let’s check the facts shall we?

List every word you can think of that starts with "X". Yeah, all three of them. Notice a pattern? That’s right; they could all be replaced with the letter "Z". As in, "that zylophone is out of tune" or “My zenophobia is acting up again”.

How about words like Eckcellent and Eckscrement? Is X being biased against ‘C’ and ‘K’? They work well together as a team and ‘X’ couldn’t handle that because the only letter it seems to work with is ‘E’ and nobody likes him. ‘E’ is like that guy you see on the street who seems familiar, but you don’t remember his name, so you avoid eye contact with him, as to avoid an awkward conversation.

Also, without ‘X’, we would have twenty-five letters in the alphabet. Isn’t that a nice number? Easy for the children to remember, but still more than the Hawaiian alphabet which seems like your saying the same words over and over again. Besides, who even remembers where it is in the alphabet? Somewhere after ‘W’. Or is it before ‘W’? Who knows?

Finally are the religious implications of the letter ‘X’. What does the ‘X’ stand for in X-mas? That’s right, our Lord and Savior. He has been replaced by this blasphemous letter. Next thing you know the ‘X’ will be replaced by a big fat jolly man and we can name it what the candy and toy companies have been waiting for years to call it, Santamas.

So do the world a favor and never speak of the letter ecks again. Necks time we will go into the letter cue and why it also should never be used in a sentence. Or a cuestion.

*D.S. Trosdahl~~