Miami Vice President
Dick Cheney, sticking with the old Bush credo of "Shoot first, ask questions later", blasted a lawyer a couple of weeks ago. It is rumored that after the incident, the vice president rifled through Harry Whittington's coat pockets, searching in vain for weapons of mass destruction.
It was said that Mr. Whittington suffered a mild heart attack when one of the pellets struck his chest. I have to say, I would have a mild heart attack if I saw one of the Bush Adminstration holding any kind of a weapon.
What a stroke of genius! Let's send the vice president over to Afghanistan/Pakistan. Tell him he's looking for quail. He'll find Osama Bin Ladin in no time!
*D.S.Trosdahl~~
Thursday, February 23, 2006
Thursday, February 16, 2006
Baby on (Dash) Board
Here comes the next stop in Britney Spears' transition from glowing pop-star, to white-trash queen. As if marrying loser-rapper-wannabe-trailer-boy Kevin Fedderline wasn't bad enough, you become the mother of his child. Next you hold said child on your lap as you drive from starbucks. In Britney's defense car seats are friggin' expensive. Not only that, but it looks very tacky in your 2006 Escalade.
Britney has released a statement through People Magazine explaining her actions. She says while her bodyguard was in Starbucks getting her a coffee, the paparazzi began to swarm her car while she took her son out of his car seat to wait for her coffee. When the bodyguard returned Britney feared for her child's safety and so drove away saying, "I instinctively took measures to get my baby and me out of harm's way."
So driving down the highway holding a coffee in one hand, the kid in the other, driving with your knees is a "measure to get my baby and me out of harm's way"? The lack of common sense of people sometimes scares me.
*D.S. Trosdahl~~
Here comes the next stop in Britney Spears' transition from glowing pop-star, to white-trash queen. As if marrying loser-rapper-wannabe-trailer-boy Kevin Fedderline wasn't bad enough, you become the mother of his child. Next you hold said child on your lap as you drive from starbucks. In Britney's defense car seats are friggin' expensive. Not only that, but it looks very tacky in your 2006 Escalade.
Britney has released a statement through People Magazine explaining her actions. She says while her bodyguard was in Starbucks getting her a coffee, the paparazzi began to swarm her car while she took her son out of his car seat to wait for her coffee. When the bodyguard returned Britney feared for her child's safety and so drove away saying, "I instinctively took measures to get my baby and me out of harm's way."
So driving down the highway holding a coffee in one hand, the kid in the other, driving with your knees is a "measure to get my baby and me out of harm's way"? The lack of common sense of people sometimes scares me.
*D.S. Trosdahl~~
Friday, February 10, 2006
5 Things learned January of 2006
1.) The first six cups of coffee are good. But there's something about that seventh or eighth cup that doesn't set well with the stomach.
2.) Holding a fart in is like holding your breath for a minute. It's not worth it. At some point your going to need to make up for all the breaths you didn't take.
3.) How many cop dramas and lawyer shows do you really need on TV at one time? Is it me or are there like 8 named CSI or Law and Order?
4.) Candy jewlery is gross. However, it's cheap. "Happy Valentine's Day honey!"
5.) If you are going to go postal, at least have the guts to shoot yourself first.
Bush sucks
*D.S.Trosdahl~~
1.) The first six cups of coffee are good. But there's something about that seventh or eighth cup that doesn't set well with the stomach.
2.) Holding a fart in is like holding your breath for a minute. It's not worth it. At some point your going to need to make up for all the breaths you didn't take.
3.) How many cop dramas and lawyer shows do you really need on TV at one time? Is it me or are there like 8 named CSI or Law and Order?
4.) Candy jewlery is gross. However, it's cheap. "Happy Valentine's Day honey!"
5.) If you are going to go postal, at least have the guts to shoot yourself first.
Bush sucks
*D.S.Trosdahl~~
Valentine's Pay
Here it comes. That magically day of being overcharged for everything from flowers, to stuffed bears. How did this even become a holiday? "Well, St. Valentine died in prison, but he sent out cards to all his followers. To mark his death, let's sell over-priced cards and boxes of assorted chocolates!" F*ck corporate America!
What an awful day to be a kid, eh? Some of you more popular people may not remember back in third grade, when we had to build those valentine's day card holders, made from old reebok boxes, to hold all of our cards in. It kind of sucks when you only have three cards in that basturd, one from the teacher, one from mom, and the other says "To Stacy", so obviously someone mistook your box for one of the cheerleaders (don't cry Dan). F*ck corporate America!
How about highschool? Girls waiting for someone to ask them to the Valentine's Day dance because they don't want to go stag and boys getting rejected because they haven't got enough self-confidence to fill a peanut shell. F*ck corporat... Wait, that one isn't their fault. Oh well, f* corporate America and high school!
For the women: Guys will break up with you just before Valentine's Day to avoid having to buy presents, et al. F*ck corporate America!
I think they should change the name from Valentine's Day to National Obligatory Sex Day. Because If I'm going to buy all this stuff, then I want some sex. No excuses!
Oh yeah. F*ck corporate America! Bush sucks.
*D.S.Trosdahl~~
Here it comes. That magically day of being overcharged for everything from flowers, to stuffed bears. How did this even become a holiday? "Well, St. Valentine died in prison, but he sent out cards to all his followers. To mark his death, let's sell over-priced cards and boxes of assorted chocolates!" F*ck corporate America!
What an awful day to be a kid, eh? Some of you more popular people may not remember back in third grade, when we had to build those valentine's day card holders, made from old reebok boxes, to hold all of our cards in. It kind of sucks when you only have three cards in that basturd, one from the teacher, one from mom, and the other says "To Stacy", so obviously someone mistook your box for one of the cheerleaders (don't cry Dan). F*ck corporate America!
How about highschool? Girls waiting for someone to ask them to the Valentine's Day dance because they don't want to go stag and boys getting rejected because they haven't got enough self-confidence to fill a peanut shell. F*ck corporat... Wait, that one isn't their fault. Oh well, f* corporate America and high school!
For the women: Guys will break up with you just before Valentine's Day to avoid having to buy presents, et al. F*ck corporate America!
I think they should change the name from Valentine's Day to National Obligatory Sex Day. Because If I'm going to buy all this stuff, then I want some sex. No excuses!
Oh yeah. F*ck corporate America! Bush sucks.
*D.S.Trosdahl~~
Friday, February 03, 2006
The Super Blah
Did you hear that sound? It's the sound of advertisers everywhere groaning in discust.
This year's superbowl features the Pittsburg Steelers, the sixth seed in the AFC, versus the Seattle Seahawks the top seed in the NFC. The saddest part, Seattle, a city known better for its coffee and suicide rate than its sports' teams, is predicted by most to lose the superbowl.
Of course I'm a Viking fan. I'm 25. So, I've never been able to watch the superbowl with any personal feelings on the line. The superbowl is merely a reason for me to eat and drink way too much and wake up on a work day feeling like ass. Not only that, it's the only time during the entire year where I'd rather watch the advertisements instead of the game.
Now, if you'll excuse me I have some beer to drink and commercials to watch.
*D.S. Trosdahl~~
Did you hear that sound? It's the sound of advertisers everywhere groaning in discust.
This year's superbowl features the Pittsburg Steelers, the sixth seed in the AFC, versus the Seattle Seahawks the top seed in the NFC. The saddest part, Seattle, a city known better for its coffee and suicide rate than its sports' teams, is predicted by most to lose the superbowl.
Of course I'm a Viking fan. I'm 25. So, I've never been able to watch the superbowl with any personal feelings on the line. The superbowl is merely a reason for me to eat and drink way too much and wake up on a work day feeling like ass. Not only that, it's the only time during the entire year where I'd rather watch the advertisements instead of the game.
Now, if you'll excuse me I have some beer to drink and commercials to watch.
*D.S. Trosdahl~~
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