Remember when Blogging was a thing that was done? Yeah, me too. I used to blog.
Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of people still blogging. Some are even making a decent living blogging. But gauging from the amount of views my blog posts garnered in 12 years, blogging was never going to be my thing. I used to blog.
Back then I used to think my material wit would take me places. I could do some part time blogging and get some recognition on the side. I used to blog.
It's been over 9 years since my last post. It's obvious that I can't blog. I used to blog.
Tuesday, July 24, 2018
Tuesday, March 03, 2009
There's something about Barry
Sorry, I saw this news article and had to comment.
Mall wants Manilow music to drive out unruly teens
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090303/ap_on_fe_st/as_odd_new_zealand_mall_rats
WELLINGTON, New Zealand – It'll be Barry Manilow versus the mall rats. The New Zealand city of Christchurch hopes that putting the American crooner's smooth and gentle tones into the mix of music to be broadcast through the central mall district can pacify unruly teens who congregate there_ or at least convince them to go elsewhere.
DT: I believe it will have the opposite effect. Unruly teens will riot at the GAP.
"The intention is to change the environment in a positive way ... so nobody feels threatened or intimidated," Central City Business Association manager Paul Lonsdale told The Associated Press. "I did not say Barry Manilow is a weapon of mass destruction."
DT: That's exactly what you're saying and I totally agree with you.
A group of several dozen young people regularly spread rubbish, spray graffiti, get intoxicated, use drugs, swear and intimidate patrons at the outdoor mall, he said.
DT: Why not be kind and considerate to the several thousand non-unruly young people and just tear gas the mall? I for one would take tear gas to the face then Manilow to the ears.
The city council, police and local property owners covering 410 businesses agree that "nice, easy listening" music like Manilow's "Can't Smile Without You," "Mandy" and other hits might change the behavior of loitering teens.
DT: Profits will go down as mall patrons slowly nod off between Sam Goody and Barnes and Noble.
But one 16-year-old told The Press newspaper that unfashionable music wouldn't deter them. "We would just bring a stereo and play it louder," Emma Belcher said.
DT: Oh god, double the Barry?
Lonsdale countered that the city would then hit them with anti-noise laws.
DT: Touche Douche! That'll learn 'em! So where a loitering ticket would not dissuade them, anti-noise would?
Sorry, I saw this news article and had to comment.
Mall wants Manilow music to drive out unruly teens
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090303/ap_on_fe_st/as_odd_new_zealand_mall_rats
WELLINGTON, New Zealand – It'll be Barry Manilow versus the mall rats. The New Zealand city of Christchurch hopes that putting the American crooner's smooth and gentle tones into the mix of music to be broadcast through the central mall district can pacify unruly teens who congregate there_ or at least convince them to go elsewhere.
DT: I believe it will have the opposite effect. Unruly teens will riot at the GAP.
"The intention is to change the environment in a positive way ... so nobody feels threatened or intimidated," Central City Business Association manager Paul Lonsdale told The Associated Press. "I did not say Barry Manilow is a weapon of mass destruction."
DT: That's exactly what you're saying and I totally agree with you.
A group of several dozen young people regularly spread rubbish, spray graffiti, get intoxicated, use drugs, swear and intimidate patrons at the outdoor mall, he said.
DT: Why not be kind and considerate to the several thousand non-unruly young people and just tear gas the mall? I for one would take tear gas to the face then Manilow to the ears.
The city council, police and local property owners covering 410 businesses agree that "nice, easy listening" music like Manilow's "Can't Smile Without You," "Mandy" and other hits might change the behavior of loitering teens.
DT: Profits will go down as mall patrons slowly nod off between Sam Goody and Barnes and Noble.
But one 16-year-old told The Press newspaper that unfashionable music wouldn't deter them. "We would just bring a stereo and play it louder," Emma Belcher said.
DT: Oh god, double the Barry?
Lonsdale countered that the city would then hit them with anti-noise laws.
DT: Touche Douche! That'll learn 'em! So where a loitering ticket would not dissuade them, anti-noise would?
Sunday, March 01, 2009
All Dogs go to heaven. Then they eat shit.
Dogs love to eat things. I believe this is one of their top traits. Although it probably falls behind their tendency to sniff other dogs' asses and licking their own private regions but ahead of leg humping and rolling in shit. The thing about dogs is they don't really care what they eat, just as long as they eat. There is no distinction between what is edible and what is not edible. And what can be eaten and what should not be eaten and how much should be eaten.
Examples of non-edible objects:
flip flops, misc plastic wrappers on the sidewalk, head from a Jesus statue (I'm serious, this happened).
Examples of edible objects that should not be eaten:
cat crap, berries from some random tree, puke, garbage from the kitchen.
This leads into my next point about grass. I think somewhere way back in the evolutionary chain, a great dane and a Holstein mated. This would explain dogs affection for grass. I know dogs eat grass because it helps soothe an upset stomach. I understand this. However my dogs will eat it to the point where they either hurl or tufts start growing from their sphincter. It's very disturbing watching a dog rotate around in circles trying to pull grass from their ass. And yet, somewhat entertaining.
At least they don't get hairballs. And they clean up their own puke...
Dogs love to eat things. I believe this is one of their top traits. Although it probably falls behind their tendency to sniff other dogs' asses and licking their own private regions but ahead of leg humping and rolling in shit. The thing about dogs is they don't really care what they eat, just as long as they eat. There is no distinction between what is edible and what is not edible. And what can be eaten and what should not be eaten and how much should be eaten.
Examples of non-edible objects:
flip flops, misc plastic wrappers on the sidewalk, head from a Jesus statue (I'm serious, this happened).
Examples of edible objects that should not be eaten:
cat crap, berries from some random tree, puke, garbage from the kitchen.
This leads into my next point about grass. I think somewhere way back in the evolutionary chain, a great dane and a Holstein mated. This would explain dogs affection for grass. I know dogs eat grass because it helps soothe an upset stomach. I understand this. However my dogs will eat it to the point where they either hurl or tufts start growing from their sphincter. It's very disturbing watching a dog rotate around in circles trying to pull grass from their ass. And yet, somewhat entertaining.
At least they don't get hairballs. And they clean up their own puke...
Friday, February 27, 2009
5 Things Learned in February 2009
1.) Never sleep with your monkey, feed him fillet Mignon, or let him drink out of a long-stemmed wine glass. He may try to bite your friend's face off.
2.) Never forget to get your wife a card for Valentine's Day. But do sleep with her, feed her fillet Mignon, and let her drink out of a long-stemmed wine glass. Or she may try to bite your face off.
3.) Banks will spend stimulus money on bubble gum cards and candy, so don't give it to them.
4.) Paula Abdul needs American Idol. American Idol does not need Paula Abdul. Stop complaining.
5.) Winter is fucking cold.
1.) Never sleep with your monkey, feed him fillet Mignon, or let him drink out of a long-stemmed wine glass. He may try to bite your friend's face off.
2.) Never forget to get your wife a card for Valentine's Day. But do sleep with her, feed her fillet Mignon, and let her drink out of a long-stemmed wine glass. Or she may try to bite your face off.
3.) Banks will spend stimulus money on bubble gum cards and candy, so don't give it to them.
4.) Paula Abdul needs American Idol. American Idol does not need Paula Abdul. Stop complaining.
5.) Winter is fucking cold.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Back to Front
Okay, I recently realized that I still had this Blogspot and decided that I may try my hand at it once again.
Since my last post I:
have a new job
moved twice
now own a house
have two dogs
sister-in-law lives with us
had 43 haircuts
lost my goatee
and now have the NFL package
So, a lot of new things. Of course, because I never really talked about myself in any of these blogs you didn't really know any of what I was before I stopped posting anyway.
I'm going to try to post on here once in awhile. If only to leave a legacy behind that's more than the fact that I've drunk my weight in beer more than a thousand times over. Hopefully you enjoy it. If not you can always read Mad magazine or seomthing.
D.S. Trosdahl
Okay, I recently realized that I still had this Blogspot and decided that I may try my hand at it once again.
Since my last post I:
have a new job
moved twice
now own a house
have two dogs
sister-in-law lives with us
had 43 haircuts
lost my goatee
and now have the NFL package
So, a lot of new things. Of course, because I never really talked about myself in any of these blogs you didn't really know any of what I was before I stopped posting anyway.
I'm going to try to post on here once in awhile. If only to leave a legacy behind that's more than the fact that I've drunk my weight in beer more than a thousand times over. Hopefully you enjoy it. If not you can always read Mad magazine or seomthing.
D.S. Trosdahl
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
Up, up, and away!
What the hell has been happening to gas prices? You'd think half the oil wells around the world started pumping out tang instead of oil. I may have to go back to siphoning gas from my neighbor's car at this rate. Soon a gallon of gas will be comparable with an ounce of silver. This has got to stop.
Fortunately, I have a plan. It's quite simple, really. I've begun designing a car that runs on an alternative form of fuel. Pixie sticks. I've seen one quarter of a pixie stick keep a 7 year old boy active for a week. Why not a car? I'll call my new automobile the Pixilator and it will run on one pixie stick a day.
There will be some kinks that need to be worked out. Currently you have a fuel gauge on your vehicle. The Pixilator's fuel gauge won't work as it can bonk on a moment's notice. The Pixilator may not stop when you hit the brakes or even if you turn off the ignition. The Pixilator may become highly volitile or very emotional. Do not use the Pixilator when under the influence.
I'll let you know how it turns out. I'm sure Bush is shitting himself in fear of this new piece of technology. Mwa ha ha!
*D.S.Trosdahl~~
What the hell has been happening to gas prices? You'd think half the oil wells around the world started pumping out tang instead of oil. I may have to go back to siphoning gas from my neighbor's car at this rate. Soon a gallon of gas will be comparable with an ounce of silver. This has got to stop.
Fortunately, I have a plan. It's quite simple, really. I've begun designing a car that runs on an alternative form of fuel. Pixie sticks. I've seen one quarter of a pixie stick keep a 7 year old boy active for a week. Why not a car? I'll call my new automobile the Pixilator and it will run on one pixie stick a day.
There will be some kinks that need to be worked out. Currently you have a fuel gauge on your vehicle. The Pixilator's fuel gauge won't work as it can bonk on a moment's notice. The Pixilator may not stop when you hit the brakes or even if you turn off the ignition. The Pixilator may become highly volitile or very emotional. Do not use the Pixilator when under the influence.
I'll let you know how it turns out. I'm sure Bush is shitting himself in fear of this new piece of technology. Mwa ha ha!
*D.S.Trosdahl~~
Thursday, April 27, 2006
The uselessness of Clint Howard
No name embodies pure, enriched apathy, quite like Clint Howard. The problem, besides his poor acting chops and a face that only Abe Vigoda could love, is that he pops up in movies you least expect. There he is, a sleezy imbecile in the Waterboy. Suddenly your watching Ice Cream Man, and there he is again, a sleezy imbecile killer. And again, during the Grinch. A sleezy, boot-licking, imbecile. The list is mind-numblingly long. Did you know he is the voice of Roo in Winnie the Pooh? God, another useless fact that you really didn't want to know about the most worthless actor in Hollywood.
Clint is the substance you find in the lint trap of your dryer. It's there, everyday, completely pointless, making you angry for no real reason.
So there's Ron, the better-looking (although that's like saying the Phantom of the Opera is better looking than Quazimoto), better actor (ditto), and the more talented brother. Ron made Clint. If not for Ron, Clint would be the creepy janitor in a Junior Highschool in Virginia somewhere. My brother-in-law is an actor, and a damn good one. My only hope is that one day, I can be the Clint to his Ron Howard. I'll have to work on some thinning hair, growing out my forehead, and developing the voice of an eel.
What did writing this blog teach me? Don't, whatever you do, watch The Dentist 2. *Full Body Shudder*
*D.S.Trosdahl~~
No name embodies pure, enriched apathy, quite like Clint Howard. The problem, besides his poor acting chops and a face that only Abe Vigoda could love, is that he pops up in movies you least expect. There he is, a sleezy imbecile in the Waterboy. Suddenly your watching Ice Cream Man, and there he is again, a sleezy imbecile killer. And again, during the Grinch. A sleezy, boot-licking, imbecile. The list is mind-numblingly long. Did you know he is the voice of Roo in Winnie the Pooh? God, another useless fact that you really didn't want to know about the most worthless actor in Hollywood.
Clint is the substance you find in the lint trap of your dryer. It's there, everyday, completely pointless, making you angry for no real reason.
So there's Ron, the better-looking (although that's like saying the Phantom of the Opera is better looking than Quazimoto), better actor (ditto), and the more talented brother. Ron made Clint. If not for Ron, Clint would be the creepy janitor in a Junior Highschool in Virginia somewhere. My brother-in-law is an actor, and a damn good one. My only hope is that one day, I can be the Clint to his Ron Howard. I'll have to work on some thinning hair, growing out my forehead, and developing the voice of an eel.
What did writing this blog teach me? Don't, whatever you do, watch The Dentist 2. *Full Body Shudder*
*D.S.Trosdahl~~
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